Thursday, 20 December 2007

Driving me nuTsie

When I discovered nuTsie I was very happy (thanks MeFi!) What an excellent way (I thought) to be able to carry my iTunes library with me wherever I went.

Then today, something happened to irritate me. Let me explain.
I have a playlist of profanity related songs, which I call 'F Word'. OK, it's not that imaginative, but I like it, so there. Here are the tracks:

Bitches Ain't Shit - Ben Folds
Bastard - Mott the Hoople
Bodies - Sex Pistols
Fuck Forever - Babyshambles
Fuckin' Up - Neil Young (this version is with Pearl Jam, BTW)
Fucking Ada - Ian Dury & The Blockheads (sorry, can't find a YT link for that, you'll have to listen on nuTsie if you want to hear it)
I want a fucking car - excerpt from Planes, Trains & Automobiles with Steve Martin
It's A Motherfucker -Eels
Kill You - Eminem
Me & My Bitch - Notorious B.I.G
Oh Shit! - Buzzcocks (again, can't find a YT link, so I'm sending you to the Buzzcocks site)
Paul (skit) - Eminem (no link here - move along please)
Public Service Announcement - Eminem (see below)
Relaxing at Club F****n - Koop (the asterisks are not mine, but are in the original title)
Sit On My Face - Monty Python
Steve Berman - Eminem ('lyrics' only, sorry)
There Ain't Half Been Some Clever Bastards - Ian Dury & The Blockheads
Three The Hard Way - Beastie Boys
Tits On The Radio - Scissor Sisters
Too Drunk To Fuck - Dead Kennedys

There are more to come as it is an evolving list. In particular, thanks to the Guardian Readers Recommend section, John Lennon's Working Class Hero and Marianne Faithfull's Why'd Ya Do It, which I had never heard of, but whose lyrics are simply gobsmacking.

Anyway, my issue is that some of the songs on the list are bowdlerised versions, particularly Notorious B.I.G and the Eminem snips. The second example is far more egregious in my opinion, as we are not simply talking bleeps as in the Me & My B*tch (yes, they really do list it that way) but a totally different version. Here are the original lyrics:

Announcer: This is another public service announcement brought to you, in part, by Slim Shady
Eminem: (whispered): Tell 'em I don't give a fuck

Announcer: Slim Shady does not give a FUCK...what you think!

Eminem: Tell 'em to suck it

Announcer: If you don't like it, you can suck his fucking cock!

Eminem: Tell 'em they kissed my ass
Announcer: Little did you know, upon purchasing this album, you have just kissed his ass!

Eminem: Tell 'em I'm fed up

Announcer: Slim Shady is fed up with your shit...and he's going to kill you!

Eminem: Yeah

Announcer: Uh...anything else?

Eminem: Yeah...SUE ME.

And here is the version nuTsie came up with:

Announcer: This is a public service announcement brought to you in part by Slim Shady. The views and events expressed here are totally fucked and are not necessarily the views of anyone. However, the events and suggestions that appear on this album are not to be taken lightly. Children should not partake in the listening in this album with laces in their shoes. Slim Shady is not responsible for your actions. Upon purchasing this album you have agreed not to try this at home [In the background]
Any thing else?

Eminem: Yeah. Don't do drugs.

How fucking lame is that? I ask you. I suppose I know that it's not really nuTsie's fault. After all, many of the other songs came through OK, and all nuTsie can do is find a track online which matches those I've put up. I do object, as I've said ad nauseam, that we are forced to put up with this bollocks. How can Eminem even have contemplated making that second version?

No comments: