Thursday, 4 December 2008

Pipers piping

Put that in yer fucking bong and smoke it!

Years ago, in Old Ozzer Town, there was a road sweeper who was known as Piper. He was a very short man, I guess in his late 50s or early 60s, and in his hi-viz jacket (which you seem to see everywhere these days, but which were much rarer then) he would trundle his sweeper cart around with a pipe permanently fixed in his gob. He wore bicycle clips, for - when not pushing his trolley - he would be wheeling his old bike along, and thick NHS glasses. Needless to say, the local kids were extremely creative in their cruelty towards him, but that never seemed to bother him over much.

I have a vivid memory from those years. When in a car, I passed him as he was kneeling down outside Kwik Save (one of my favourite shite retail stories is about Kwik Save, but -unless I've already relayed it somewhere, I'll save it for another day) with his little jack russell. The dog had its paws on Piper's knees and was systematically licking the inside of the guy's mouth as he was held around the belly.

Now, I've always been a dog lover, don't get me wrong, but this was definitely going too far.


EP said...

I was reading about some professional photographer who does a lot of work in London. Takes a lot of architectural photos. He used to get pestered by passers-by, officious officials etc all the time, asking why he was taking photos, where would they be published and so on.

The he started wearing a hi-viz jacket and became invisible. It's like people see right through him when he's wearing it.

Myeral said...

They're every bleedin where