Sunday 14 March 2010

Underland

Thanks to footy boots for the excellent image.

Those of you who are familiar with my life (or indeed my blog) will be aware that I have spent more time than is good for me in the city of Sunderland. It's not all bad, let me tell you, though I would strongly advise against a coleslaw stottie. Dennis Tueart, sitting alongside the loathsome Jamie Redknapp on Sky Sports today, kind of sums it up. I believe that, in honour of the hugely successful (and utterly shite) Tim Burton film, the city of Sunderland should consider removing its first letter in order to make some money.

Today, at the 'Stadium of Light' (arf) I believe that City demonstrated for once and for all our total inability to capture that elusive and coveted fourth spot. Along with other results over the weekend, it also put severe strain on my own meagre hopes of glory. But that's another story.



Tiresomely predictable it may have been (at least the first half) after a 15 day lay-off for the team - England duty excepted for those players involved - it nonetheless had me spitting blood as I watched in the local. The sound was down, everyone feeling fucking post-prandial (but by no means inimical) doubtless after the climax of the Rags game, and some of the tellies were not even tuned into Irish Sky Sports. My eye was constantly drawn to Songs of Praise, which was showing on the King Telly above the door, and - apart from me - only a couple of Habesha guys and a solitary Irishman with a Roman nose were bothering to watch. Just as I was fuming over some gimmicky vicars talking to Eamonn Holmes, that footballing marvel Kenwyne Jones stuck one in.

At that point, my innate sense of superstition kicked in and I rushed home to complete the ritual via 5Live. Danny Mills was co-punditing, and there are few things which stick in the craw more than Our Danny pontificating about skillful players while touting his latest cheridee gig. However, we did manage to snatch a draw at Wearmouth, and so things could be worse. Adam Johnson does look good, and of course he was born in...

I can't help it. I've developed this overwhelming urge to do irreparable damage to Steve Bruce's face. No, wait...

8 comments:

A Villain said...

So, the Mick wiv the 'ooter, was this a gang caper, like the yakuza take a finger?

A Slag said...

Are you as slag or sumfin?

A Villain said...

You ponce! I'm askin' cos Tommy Mop sez 'e's well in wiv the Dublin posties! Reckons the Mouse and the Gorblimies are plannin' a job dahn Lime'ouse!

Christine McVie said...

Leave it aht! I'll have to re-arrange the furniture on your boat in a minute.

Michael said...

Ten seconds in Sunderland is exactly ten seconds more than is good for you.

the Mouse said...

'as that Sir Anthony been church bellin'' baht the Lime'ouse Lord Hereford? ? e'll be 'avin a chocolate wiv a big Andrew if 'e's not bleedin' careful!

Billy Gorblimie said...

Slide Trombone you nonce!

Giovanni Gelato said...

Scusi,dove esta mia nosa?