Tuesday, 15 January 2013
Sending it Back
'Well, we're very busy - it's lunchtime you know. Anyway, we had to cook for people who came in before you...'
'Also,' said my Isness, 'There are people who came in after us who have received their food already.'
The waitress finally, begrudgingly, said she was on it - yeah, right. The pizzas arrived, served in 'artisan' fashion on bread boards, and I couldn't help noticing that my youngest wasn't eating with any gusto, which I put down to the large amount of garlic bread she had eaten (back in the distant past) and the length of time we had waited, which can often dull the heartiest of appetites. But I discovered that in actual fact the pizza had started to absorb some of the wood's aroma, giving it a rather unpleasant varnish taste. I tried one bite, and was instantly put off.
Then (it gets worse) my daughter asked for a glass of water, which the waitress brought over. In mid-pass between my daughter and the miserable woman with the apron on, the heavy pebbled bottom of the glass simply dropped off, and its entire contents spilled over the table and into the laps of both of my daughters. Luckily, there were no glass shards and no-one hurt, but this was still something of a calamity. Well, the waitress then proceeded to accuse my daughter of knocking the glass against the edge of the table, and for me this was the last straw. I shouted that this was not the case, and that I resented her saying it was. For this, an amount was deducted from the bill. Nonetheless, I will never set foot in the place again. 'kthxbai.
Later that evening, on the recommendation of one or two friends, we went to see Life of Pi. Though I have not read the book, which perhaps means that the comments to follow will do some injustice (as well as maybe displaying my own literary prejudices) to Ang Lee's effort, I absolutely hated it. That said, I believe that if you have seen this piece of nonsense, I feel sorry for you. If you haven't, please do not waste your time and money. There are so many things wrong with it that I almost don't know where to begin. Firstly, it is utterly pointless. After over two hours (though I admit that I walked out with 30 minutes still to go) the viewer is none the wiser as to what the thing is supposed to be about. There is almost no acknowledgement of the realities of life, with the story set in some fantastical hippy bubble of funny names and exotic fruits and flowers - a cosy world divorced from the poverty, racism, disease and struggle endured by so many in the world. The set-up of a ferocious tiger (whether it be a symbol or not) somehow stuck on a lifeboat while a young man builds a raft to float alongside for 7,000 days (or however long it is) and ultimately trains the feline is too ludicrous to countenance. Nonsense of the highest order, most egregiously demonstrated by the ridiculous flying fish/tuna scene. The whole thing, one feels, was purely put on to demonstrate the excellent CGI skills of the effects guys. In short - shite.
Finally, I was a little concerned about facing the Gooners on Sunday, and feared that we may have only just managed to scrape a draw. This fear proved totally unfounded, though a combination of their second half efforts, and a definite slow-down from our boys almost caused a few flutters in the second half. It was a surprisingly niggly match, with Arsenal setting the tone early on, culminating in Mr Dean losing control and making decisions based largely on crowd reaction. Vinnie's sending-off, though perhaps understandable with the way the game is going, was still absolutely ridiculous. I don't hold out much hope of the card being rescinded, with this - added to the list of absentees - causing some concern about the next few matches. And the Rags go marching on. Twats.