Friday, 21 March 2008

Easter my worries

I am bewildered, almost constantly. I stare at the computer screen, conscious that I have about a million tasks backed up, but still unable to take one solitary action. Events are as the sea, relentlessly rolling in and engulfing me while I pretend everything's OK. Money - and (oddly) there seems to be plenty of it - is not sufficient to prevent the meltdown, and my stern jeremiads, or pleas for help, go unheeded. There are insufficient hours in the day, and those which exist are hijacked by Machiavellian mountebanks and frivolous frippery.

I struggle to find joy in those things which used to buoy me, and the pelting of the pitiless storms about our sceptr'd isle gives no respite to its pitiful citizenry. All in all, a fairly grim prognosis, but at least I'm still standing.



Oh, to die. And be resurrected. Lucky bastard, that Jesus.

27 comments:

John of Patmos said...

Erm, if you died and were resurrected, like Jesus, wouldn't that mean that you'd just be the same person with the same job, but three days later? Also, wouldn't you have lost those three days, never to be re-gained, and you have to explain to people where you have been recently, especially your boss, who didn't get a call from you and wouldn't really accept the excuse of:"sorry boss, I was dead."?

pope benedict XVI said...

While we are on the subject, it really riles my mitre that Christendom's holiest of holy holidays is known as Easter. Why can't it be called "Calvary" or "Dead Jesus Day" or "the biscuit time"? I mean, Christ Almighty! Why does it have to still be named after some pagan witch after all this time?

Myeral said...

But, wouldn't that depend on when I died? I mean, if I died on Good Friday and was resurrected on Easter Monday, my boss wouldn't be any the wiser. She might not even notice in any case, as a matter of fact, but that's a different story.

john of patmos said...

So your big plan is to die, just as your long weekend starts, spend all your hols dead, and then be resurrected in time to get into work on Tuesday?

Myeral said...

Ah, but when I was resurrected, I would come back as a mop-topped Mancastrian and lope around the stage singing I Am The Resurrection, as opposed to wearing a suit and pretending to be a civil servant.

john of patmos said...

I see.However, I do think that Mr Brown's words and comments in general make less sense than my own.

protagoras said...

behave as you have to, otherswise you'll burn in hell, pucking all that chocolate for ever and ever while I sit here waiting for Nikos to fell off his chair and break an artery.

tenzin gyatso said...

Don't you mean:"reincarnation"?

John of patmos said...

"otherswise"? Is this a clever comment on reincarnation? Furthermore, I have never "pucked" chocolate in my life!

azazel said...

No,no,no. What the young buck writing this blog means is "posession". Like in that film about me with Denzel Washington in it.

father merrin said...

Oh for God's sake! Listen hellspawn, this is clearly not a case of posession as the sweet young child who writes this blog clearly wishes to give up his outer casement in return for that of another. At no time has he claimed to be an airy demon who wishes to practice his infernal affairs in the cast of one of God's lovely vessels.

azazel said...

Well, what IS it then MERRIN?

father merrin said...

Do not screech at me horror.

azazel said...

Oh father, I beseech your forgiveness.

father merrin said...

Do not toy with me horror.

azazel said...

AH! Methinks the old man ignorant! He does not KNOW with what he deals! This is not a case of posession or reincarnation, sooo... WHAT...IS...IT?

father merrin said...

I deal with the child of God who is born in God's good image yet knows sin and wishes forgiveness. The name of this is redemption, horror. It is something you will never know, and that is why you take hell with you where're you go.

Some girl from New Zealand (possibly) said...

That's funny, because I always take the weather with me wherever I go.

tenzin gyatso said...

Let me get this straight. In Christianity, if you die and then posess the body of an indie rocker it is "redemption"?

richard dawkins said...

And if you posess Ian Brown, where does HIS soul go to?

Eric B and rakim said...

Ian Brown ain't got no soul.

tenzin gyatso said...

Wouldn't Brown's soul go to limbo?

Pope benedict xvi said...

Jesus! Doesn't anybody read anything we release? THERE IS NO LIMBO ANYMORE. Get with the program Tenzin.

gigi said...

God says:"si l'on ne voit pas pleurer les poissons,qui sont dans l'eau profonde, c'est que jamais quand ilss sont polissons, leur maman ne les grondeu."

sherpa tenzing said...

Listen, I know limbo. Me and Chris on the roof of the world, after we finished boiling up snow and ice to make hot beefy Bovril, we really get down under that stick.

Myeral said...

Gigi, can you please translate your comment? My rudimentary French (and Babel Fish) doesn't really help. I did find out that 'grondeu' means to scold though.

marie said...

londres, londres, ici VDO

no, you are not a rocket ship on its way to mars. it's not possible, i repeat les petits pois sont cuits-over