Wednesday, 5 March 2008
The Masochism Tango
So here I am at the cutting edge of the modern world. Sliding down the razor blade of life, as someone once said. But am I enjoying it? In a word - yes. It's the realisation that there is no magic formula, no secret code, to managing a function. It's really rather simple. Cross the i's and dot the t's (is this an instance of acceptable apostrophisation? Clearly, strict adherence to the rules would mean a no answer, but I struggle with the use of single letters, because there could be room for major confusion - is and i's - for example, and in any case, I really canno't be arsed to read through the forums on the Apostrophe Protection Society's website. I'm just very happy that there is an Apostrophe Protection Society - website and all) as someone else recently said.
Sometimes though, I can't help thinking that my nose has been caught in someone's left castanet. I can't really be specific, but what is happening right now for me somehow encapsulates the drive in modern economic models. It is poignant, difficult and challenging, and I am struggling to understand my own response to it. I have always been a left-leaning, class-conscious person and when all's said and done, antagonistic to the market economics which increasingly commoditise us all. I have also been (mostly) a hard worker and willing to go the extra mile in my job, and this has never really changed, although I have been royally fucked over by my employer on more than one occasion. However, I have also had my fair share of goodies, freebies and fun.
At the end of the day, I have always felt a loyalty to my colleagues which overrides other concerns. Where I am at present (metaphysically as well as geographically) is turning out to be a test of all that. I am one of the undertakers (or even euthanasers) at the death of the Job For Life culture, and it will not be put down without a struggle. Is it right that this change should happen? Probably. Will it make the slightest bit of difference? I doubt it. All I can do is focus on my CV. Another day, another doleur.