Sunday, 2 November 2008


Football and prostitutes. You can't trust them.

Interestingly enough I was having a shit in the local Weatherspoons this morning (I wasn't drinking in there, but I was desperate - hence the need to lug three bags of Waitrose's finest into the stinking cubicle) and having a quick glance over the back page of... the football section of the Screws while I did so. It was immensely unsatisfying, since you ask, as I had to virtually contort myself just to get a decent heave on - not to mention unfolding the Screws - but, needs must when the, er, devil drives.

Reading the paper, I was (as I often am) drawn to the stats (used to be called Carling Opta, but now called something far less sexy and not at all beer-related. I do wonder what these stats are based on. Do teams of people watch every game with a check sheet, marking off assists, pass completions, etc? If they do, do they get either free entry to games or free TV subscription? If so, I think I will be applying) on each section of the game. What happens if they need a piss or something? TiVO, probably.

Anyway, City players rarely feature on these lists for obvious reasons, but I noticed that the most glamorous section (the strikers of course!) featured a certain Brazilian in second place, just behind that little Portuguese cunt. Which was great, but really only to be expected for the princely sum paid for him. Many have opined that Robinho has not been worth the money (but, after all, who could be said to be worth that much money in any case?) but the stats do not lie. Or do they? The young lad with a strange clerical collar who thought he had signed for Utd is a consistent performer and blame cannot be laid at his door for the sack of shit which was today's game, IMHO.

No no. We can all see where the blame lies - firmly on the border of England & Wales, though obviously with a huge bias to the Welsh side.

Well done Lewis BTW.

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