Yet more doubts creep in about work. Momentous change sometimes sneaks up on one, and it seems to be happening pretty much all the time now. Where I feel I've failed most egregiously is with one particular team member who doesn't communicate with me. You can't win 'em all, the saying goes, and I wouldn't expect everyone to get along with me (neither, perhaps, should it be the function of a leader to be got along with, but that's another discussion) but I still think that I have dropped the ball as things have spiraled upwards with this guy.
In brief, he succeeded in finding a position elsewhere. He didn't tell me until the post was secured, and I wished him well - conscious of the fact that he wasn't a particularly useful player anyway, and it would be better for him to find happiness in another job. For various (boring) reasons however, he has not been able to take the role, unless he does so on a strictly temporary basis, and - forced to make the decision by last Friday - has gone AWOL. Well, not AWOL, but certainly without my knowledge (AWOK?)
This whole sorry situation has of necessity escalated to the highest level, and I feel that it reflects very poorly on my leadership skills that I am so far out of the loop, almost disregarded by the guy. It's always a personal thing, isn't it? I never managed to engage with him, and always felt that his participation in this little game we're playing was under duress. I now think that I should have focussed more on him, should have homed in on what I knew was a dysfunctional relationship. But of course, it's too late now. Tomorrow is another day, and another day when he will be away from the office.
Guess I've just got to: pick myself up, dust myself off, start all over again.