Wednesday 8 April 2009

Golfing with sharks



On the eve of a trip to Shropshire (Mum duties, as Mother's Day stuff didn't arrive - sigh) and then Cheshire (40th birthday celebration for a certain donkey driver) as part of an extended sanity-restoring Easter break, I am taking stock of where I stand, work-wise.

I don't know if anyone who reads this has ever played the sublime Super Mario Bros 3, but if you do, you'll know about the block on which you land - in World 1, Level 2, I think - after jumping on and then booting the tortoise shell and watching it bork back and forth beneath your feet. If you're not careful, the action you instigated will cause your own downfall as the shell destroys the block and you slip dim-wittedly into its path, tumbling backwards feet up with a stupid grin before floating slowly down off the bottom of the screen. Well, that sort of sums it up.

If you have never played the game, and have no intention of doing so, then I guess you will just have to try and imagine the allegorical illustration.

I'm reluctant to go into too much detail, but I always dreaded needing to know anything more about golf than was strictly necessary, and I now feel that this may be a requirement. Ringing in my ears is the 2 and a half hour conference call from this afternoon, and burned into my mind's eye are so many sharp suited fellas with 3G cards worshipping at the altar of commercial service delivery. And an old lady. Crying.

12 comments:

Chuck Waggon said...

Now is this Gary Riding:
A. A man with a donkey that walks in front of him at his behest.
B. A Donkey with a Ford Escort.
or,
C. A man who insists that his donkey is a car?
I ask only for information.

Frank Cannon said...

Hey! Is this the anniversary of the coining of the word "griding" or just the usage of it?

Nelson Smellpants said...

Excuse me Sir, but weren't you in the remake of Planet of the Apes?

Pope Benedict the XVI said...

look, it's bloody EASTER! Ihaven't got time to keep an eye on the mistakes in the comments on this blog!

Victoria N Principle said...

Best wishes to Mr G. Riding Esq.
Although our political views are anathema he has always conducted himself in a manner befitting a gentleman.
Apart from the incident at the ha-ha.

Bob Dylan said...

Yeh, It'll make you...crazy! So I'd like to add a little wash to the Birthday thing... Happy Birthday Gray Dring!

The Amazing Colossal Man said...

I may have nothing but an old army tent as a diaper but Gary Riding IS THE MAN!

John Titor said...

WAIT A MINUTE! YOU KNOW GARY RIDING? WOW! I'M SPEECHLESS.

Mr Johnson said...

Still needs a good clip round the earhole if you ask me.

Myeral said...

I will pass on all of your kind words to Mr Riding. On a horse

Chuck Waggon said...

Now, will you or Mr Riding be on the horse, or just the words?

A Crostic said...

We will both be on the words.