This morning on the bus - that delicious ache when you could just stay where you are, reading your book; when a long, slow journey would be just the thing you needed, but you know it has to end. Rain pelting down and dirty brown puddles gathered around the feet. Each time the bus came towards a stop, a great rushing wash as the deep pools of water displaced and the doors opened.
I glanced ahead and to my right as my time on the machine was ending, saw a large man reading the Metro and snorting at one of the stories. Opposite him, two or three seats away from me, a woman's ID card (she was young and wearing glasses) had been abandoned on the seat. I contemplated picking it up and handing it to the driver, but it was just a little too close to the legs of the man, so I decided against it as doing so would have meant a) invading his private space and b) possibly entering into conversation. So I stood up and carefully moved towards the exit doors.
"Hello," came a voice behind me, "Hello!" I turned and saw the man pointing at the card. "Did you leave this?" Of course I did, you stupid cunt! Can't you see that the picture looks exactly like me? Why would I be carrying an ID card which belongs to a young woman with glasses on? Or maybe you think I dress in drag, whilst also undergoing extensive plastic surgery? Did you also notice that I was sitting 3 seats away from where the card was left?
It reminded me of a similar scene I witnessed on the same route, in almost the same location, some months ago, when someone picked up a phone which had been left on the seat. The owner had just got off, but was already out of sight, and so the person who found it was unsure about what she should do. A man standing near her said that he knew where the woman was going, and that he would be more than happy to run after her with the phone. As an observer, I was sceptical about this course of action, and the finder didn't seem too convinced either.
"Give it to the driver," I said, but nobody seemed to hear me, and the guy became a little indignant, thinking that he was being considered untrustworthy.
"I'm not going to nick it," he said, "I can get it back to her in a couple of minutes..."
"I don't know..." said the finder "I really shouldn't..."
I disembarked and left it all behind me.