In Review

Rape? Not a lot!

Everybody's doing it, so why not me? The year in review now follows.

In the UK, it was a year defined most starkly by Savile and the Olympics, with the former being much more of a marathon than the latter. Quite staggering, with the recent de-classification of the correspondence with Thatcher, and the unbelievable access granted to the white haired tracksuit man to so many organisations. So much more is yet to come in this story, I think we can safely say, and it beggars belief at every new revelation. For me, the Olympics had a personal touch, thanks to my duties on the front line of customer services for the travelling public. It was a good couple of weeks in all.

Huge amounts of revelations up to and through the Leveson inquiry, with no discernible outcome other than mild embarrassment for Cameron because he thought LOL meant lots of love. Nothing was done to remedy the sickness at the heart of the relationship between HMG and Rupert Murdoch; nothing will be done to regulate the worst excesses of press intrusion. And we'll all sing along like before.

The fiscal cliff atop which we are all apparently standing has never been very far away. Greece burning, Spain floundering, France posturing, Italy imploding, Germany dictating and Japan stagnating. Obama's victory over the lunatic Romney - though only 7 weeks ago - now seems lost in the distant past, overshadowed by the apparently endless (and pointless) gerrymandering of the US political machine. I've been reading about deficits, public debt relative to GDP, etc., and I have to say that I can't really understand a bloody word of it. I'm not the cleverest man alive, but I'm not completely illiterate, and can struggle through most subjects given time, but this is all a mystery to me. If somebody could explain it in clear terms, then I would be very grateful. It seems to boil down to the basic fact that we are all fucked, but that it is not possible to levy higher taxes on the wealthy in our societies.


It was a year when City's billions finally clinched the champions' spot, in truly stunning fashion. A fantastic way to end the season, followed by a largely very enjoyable European Championships (England's dire displays notwithstanding) as a welcome antidote to the depressing spread of receivership and collapse among clubs large and small. A bit like United this season, Fabrice Muamba died, refused to roll over, and came back to life. Racism has been everywhere, infusing everything, and again I'm not sure if we have really made any progress in sorting it out.

Do I feel, as Mr Cameron says I should, optimistic about 2013? In short, no.

I can see nothing in my (admittedly somewhat confused) view of the economic situation to make me think that there will be any way out of the morass we're in. We seem paralysed and unable to do anything about even the most egregious examples of political graft and downright criminality. The environment continues to deteriorate at a truly terrifying rate, and nobody even wants to talk about it. Floods and misery descend on the poor benighted folk of this strange land with alarming regularity; farmers - their livestock pumped full of hormones, anti-biotics and god knows what chemicals - are struggling to survive like everyone else. Children are living in increasing numbers in B&B accommodation while luxury hotels sprout up and the value of houses continues to rise.

As far as the beautiful game goes, I think there is cause for some springing forth of Pandora's greatest gift. It has been an enjoyable season, with some great matches already played, and a lot more to come. The Norwich match was thrilling right up to the 7th minute (!) of added time, although we do have the bloody Potters up next. Now, at the halfway point in the current season, it could still go any way. Spurs are putting together some good play with some encouraging results, and Arsenal are doing all right. Liverpool looked set to tumble down a mediocrity hole, but have scrabbled back to the lip again, led firmly by the marauding Suarez. Not to mention Everton, who of course couldn't quite do Chelsea when it mattered most. At the moment, I would definitely say that the top 3 will be: City, United and Chelsea - though not necessarily in that order.

That concludes my review. I wish all my readers a happy new year, and hope that 2013 at least treats them a little better than 2012 did. I will be back with my meanderings to cheer you all along.

Interregnum

Soft spots, eh? What can you do with them? After the almost-loss to Waitrose United, the inevitable failure to score at the Stadium of Light. You may recall that I am an alumnus of the hallowed Sunderland University (though it was a Poly in my day of course) and if you don't recall, you may be finding out for the first time now. Having lived in the area off and on for three years (or so) I did develop a soft spot for the Black Cats; thanks largely to the mostly genuine people of the place with their enduring, powerful love for the game, and for their sometime illustrious team. In extremely adverse (both economically and climatically) conditions, the people remain friendly, stalwart and open. Steve Bruce's tenure at the place put my affection for the Mackems on hold for a while, but - though I'm not as fond of him as I used to be - Martin O'Neill's arrival did at least make up for the presence of the softly spoken bent-nosed Rag. Niall Quinn's involvement also helps.

Yet I knew that a Boxing Day trip up the A19 (or would it be Teesside Airport these days?) was never going to be easy, given the fickle nature of football and the fact that a) we've not done well against the Mackems under Bobby, and b) we're struggling to score at all at the moment. However, that was no excuse for the missus to say (somewhere around Christmas Eve, I think) that she too had a soft spot for Sunderland. Oh, and Newcastle - as it happens.

You will know that I am a man of science, and as such hold no truck with superstition, but there really are limits to everything, and this kind of jinx simply will not be washed away without a suitable human sacrifice. Everyone knows that. The gods of Footy Volcano grew angry and unleashed their ire onto the heads of Vincent, David, Carlos, Sergio and the rest, even teasing with a Geordie lead three times - THREE TIMES!!! - against the fucking Rags before laughing in our faces. There now only remains the duty to chant the holy incantations in an attempt to appease the anger of the Great Ones before taking on the canary bumpkins on Saturday. Merry Yule to one and all.

Let's not fall out

I write preparing to hold a meeting about someone's attendance at work. Without going into too much detail, the guy is trying to claim that he suffered an industrial injury because he was bitten by insects while in the office. He signed himself off sick for 5 days as a result of the bites after sending a lengthy email, complete with pictures of his bites and a pasted section from Wikipedia about mites. Needless to say, his TU rep has also become involved. His immediate line manager, two steps below me in the hierarchy, and incidentally a Union rep himself to boot, allowed the guy's claim of industrial injury to be entered on his return to work form. This of course caused some consternation higher up the tree (I was out of the office when all of this happened) and now I have been asked to sort it out. The guy is, shall we say, somewhat eccentric, so I really don't know what will happen at the meeting. I heard that he hopes we won't fall out over the issue. I've said before that I'm generally supportive of trades unions, but I've also said before that some people take the piss. I'll leave it to you to decide which side of the fence this particular issue sits on.

There is a parallel between the attendance issues here and the record of one Carlos Tevez, who has made a remarkable return to the City first team in the last couple of weeks. In the absence of Balotelli, Carlos will of course always attract headlines, and you have to say that a hat-trick's a hat-trick. However, yet again, the mighty Kun put on a display at Carrow Road of which any football fan would be proud - limited opposition notwithstanding. He is a truly talented and exciting player, and will be getting my vote for Etihad Player of the Year. Chris Foy, if it needs to be said again, is an absolute word now likely to lead to prosecution on Twitter.

Bobby is getting it right with his avowal that it is impossible for us to win it, expecially with Ashley Young performing Swan Lake at every opportunity, and opposition as limp and listless as the Villans up agin the fucking Rags. Just a shame that pissing Rio Ferdinand looks unlikely to have his words rammed down his smug throat come season's end. Ah well.