Casserole

I have no doubt that almost anyone reading this will have received a similar email to the one I've copied out below. I just think it's amazing and hilarious that anyone would consider paying $55 to receive the parcel. Not quite as illiterate as some of the tweets I read from young Man City fans (I'm no Michael Gove, but some of the spelling I see around is just atrocious, really) but still... Enjoy.
_______________________________________________________________________

On 29/08/2012, United Parcel Service LTD (UPS) wrote:


United Parcel Service LTD (UPS)

(Customer Service Department)

Gariki Abuja-Nigeria Branch

E-mail:upscourier_delivery@post.com

+2348072239089

INTERNATIONAL DELIVERY DEPARTMENT

Compliment of the day to you dear customer i must say that i am very surprise when i went through your file that you have still not receive your parcel.

I am Jude Abel the newly appointed Dispatch Officer for the UPS Courier Service, Gariki Branch. I wish to inform you that a shipment order will be placed on your parcel with Registration #: 392R-3TVD-CQF the parcel was tendered to us by Officials of the United Nations for onward delivery to you.

Your parcel which was placed on hold by the custom officers has been cleared Tariff Act of 1930 and Title 19 of the Code of Federal Regulations (CFRow). Under the Department of Homeland Security the parcel with Registration #: 392R-3TVD-CQF has been cleared and ready to be dispatch to you.

In regards to your mail yes your name is in the file of those who has not claim their parcel. As the newly appointed Dispatch Officer it is my duty to ensure that your parcel get to you without any delay just because of the bad name given to us by the past Director and complains from some of our customer claims that co-ordinators has been extorting money from customer and never send their parcel to them , As the new Dispatch Officer a meeting was held on the 27th of August 2012 to make sure that the files of all customer are being looked into and also check out for customers that have paid and never received their parcel that was when we actually found out that you have not redeemed.

To that effect we decided to help customers with this kind of issues who has not receive their parcel, Please to enable us dispatch this parcel to the right fully owner you are advise to reconfirm your current shipping details so that we can update your profile and your parcel delivery to you without any delay.

Note: You are only required to pay $55 for Security Keeping Fee of your parcel since you have paid for your shipment. Payment of this Security Keeping should be made directly to my officer details:

Receiver Name : Benson Osifo
Location: Nigeria
Text Question: Who is Good
Answer: God

On the confirmation of you payment your package will be set for delivery which you will receive within 36hours.

Your package contain the following information

I. AN ATM CARD (Issued by the GUARANTEE TRUST BANK)
II. ORIGINAL COPY OF INSURANCE BOND
III. UNITED NATIONS VTI INVITATION LETTER
IV. CERTIFICATE OF CLEAR SOURCE OF FUNDS ORIGIN (Issued by Internal Revenue Board)

PACKAGE WEIGHT: 41.52g
PACKAGE COLOUR: Brown
REG NUMBER: CVL/TW/US/254.

We sincerely hope the above information is helpful to you. Should you have any further queries do no hesitate to write to us.

I hope that you use the fund judiciously by serving humanity. Thanks for using our firm as i expect a copy of the receipt of mail soon.
Regards,
Jude Abel,
UPS DELIVERY
OFFICER.